Please rise. Court's now in session.
Q. To the best of your knowledge, did the victim’s husband predecease the victim before or after the victim deceased?
A. It was one or the other, I wasn’t there.
Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
Q. Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?
Q. Do you drink when you're on duty?
A. I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
Q. Are you sexually active?
A. No, I just lie there
Q. ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A. The victim lived.
Q. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A. Yes, I have been since early childhood.
Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
Q. What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A. It indicates intercourse.
Q. Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.
A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
Adjourn for recess.