Super Tuesday, H-hour minus 23:59:59, opening window to the March to Madness. Some random thoughts.
The Oscars, oh yeh! During the annual salute to narcissistic excess, overheard was a reference to the roster of actors and actresses up for nomination. Huh? How could this be, since women thespians now call themselves actors, not actresses. In Hollywood the dictum is nobody knows nuthin. And for nuthin folks cough up north of $15 at the box office. Hmm.
From hmmers to hummers, last fall Kim Kardashian demonstrated the nuances of tactical selfie-stick deployment. In rapt attention was Hillary Clinton, dumpster-diving for anything to help fine-tune her message. Oohh, who saw this coming?!! Hillary, whose husband achieved fame for transforming oral sex into a respectable perk for Oval Office squatters, had her bid for presidency endorsed by Ms. Kardashian, whose own rise to fame began in a porn video starring Kim herself performing fellatio on rapper Ray J. Well, there y’go – history sucking itself.
After her demo, Kim hash-tagged: “I really loved hearing her speak and her goals for our country!” I bet you do, Kimmy. And did she also tell you that you’re one of the 1 percenters whose balance sheet she wants to gouge with a fleet of back-hoes? Kanye West is the only savvy one in the family – at least he was smart enough to go into a $53MM sinkhole before it got taxed away. Who doesn’t love a guy with vision.
Next up, in a tepid show of spit-ball prowess, Bernie Sanders suggested that Hillary share the text of her speeches to Wall Street mobsters, for which she was paid staggering sums of moolah. You kidding, Bernie? Nobody gives a shit about the uninspired jabber of an intellectually listless gargoyle. Just show us her money and spread the love, baby! That’s what income redistribution is all about, right? Now Bernie might be delusional, but at least we know where he’s aiming his hose. Hillary’s something else – a crypto-Maoist who hides her hose beneath multiple layers of copper-reinforced panty hose, designed to conceal the quivering bulge of a hose on general alert. Small wonder she struggles with message, but Bernie’s toast is burnt, so it doesn't matter.
Last, a nifty segue into gender identity crisis politics. A survey among graphic design professionals revealed opinions evenly split on HRC’s 2016 logo. Loved it or hated it, very little in between. Like the undergrill of the 2016 Lexus, HRC’s logo demands either high kudos or death by mummification, your choice. The best analysis theorized the logo’s red arrow depicts Hillary breaking through (blue) walls and barriers. But someone’s confused; red is the color of Republicans, blue for Democrats. Did she switch parties mid-stream or is red secret code for menstrual cycles in full stream boogie? Ah, stop being coy and just stick a Tampon on the logo fer crissakes! More disturbing is the arrow itself, typically used to symbolize the male sex, while the plus (+) sign signifies females. Absent further explanation, HRC’s logo is all about chicks with strap-on dicks straddling opposing political philosophies. Nice. Just the kind of candidate 21st century America is throbbing for.
Vote well tomorrow, and vote often. And may the best thug win.