“Billy the Exterminator” answered America’s call to fumigate congress. He did a bang-up job. Waded in with spray-guns a-blazin’ and cleared the streets for a posse of conservatives chomping at the bit to repave the American dream.
Will conservatives succeed in restoring order? If some of the talk-show effluvia we're hearing is a sign of things to come, I’m not convinced they got our back.
Joe "Pags" Pagliarulo, morning host on Houston’s 950 AM radio, has opinions I share more often than not. It’s hard to disagree with someone who favors teaching English in U.S. public schools, rather than Macaw, the language of choice for Asian Gray Parrots.
Yet Pags has other opinions that worry me, like his opposition to "red light cameras." Last month he interviewed 950’s news director who reported “science is in for red light cameras.”
Really? Medical science has been trying unsuccessfully for over 60 years to find a cure for cancer and he’s sayin’ after only 4 years we have “science” on red light cameras?
To illustrate, he cited an example of a guy tooling along in his auto who looks up suddenly and says, “Oh my goodness – a red light camera!” then slams on his brakes and gets rear-ended by an F-350 traveling behind him at Mach-3.
The “science” says red light cameras caused the accident.
Really? So what was the driver doing that he didn’t notice the light? Day-dreaming about the exotic lap-dancer who gave him a boner at Rick’s Cabaret? And what was he gonna do if the camera wasn't there? Run the red light? And the dope who rear-ended him? Traffic court calls that “failure to maintain a safe distance.” Sorry, boneheads, you got what you deserve.
Now stop it, Pags! That's not science, that's just statistics, like the kind of junk Al Gore flushes down the commode. Here’s more crap masquerading as fact in the flotilla of faux science:
Red light cameras deprive drivers of due process: And red light runners who T-bone a school bus, maim a bunch of kids and deprive them of quality of life? That’s of no consequence? Since when do you get to pick and choose?
Red light cameras violate privacy rights: Nope. When we go public, we waive our right to privacy. It’s called “the social contract” – we have a duty to act, and drive, in a manner that respects others. Only self-absorbed narcissists believe their right to privacy trumps everyone else’s right to safety.
Red light cameras are a money-grab: Nope again. It’s a user-tax. If you don’t run red lights, why do you care? Besides, somebody’s gotta pay for cleaning up the carnage in the intersections. Might as well be those who cause the mess.
There's more, but enough! Houston voters chugged the juice, voted “No” on Prop 3 and kicked red light cameras to the curb. Okay, point made, Houston, now start your engines. Run red lights! Make our city's streets safe for prima donnas and NASCAR wannabes.
Here’s what’s weird. Pags and 950 AM are the standard bearers for conserving American values, yet they're oblivious to how their position does little for preserving Houston lives. Guys! You had me fooled. I almost thought you cared.
Next time “Billy the Exterminator” returns to clean up – and he will in 2012 – I sure hope it's someone else’s mangled carcass he finds in unprotected intersections, not mine.
