The wit and the ogre – a dynamic duo

 

Dear Chrissy,

 

I've been following the recent posts about Illinois GOP Chairman Pat Brady's assessment of his heretofore supporters, the Boyz.

 

You and I agree there’s no call for making disparaging remarks, in public or private, about someone’s sexual orientation.  But Brady’s a deranged breed, so you can’t expect much from junkyard dung-piles like him.

 

Still, the Boyz’ disappointment in Brady must be wrenching, so maybe you can share with them a little vignette (total fantasy, of course) to buoy their spirits.

 

Imagine this unlikely pairing:  Comedian Ross Mathews riding papoose-style on the back of former heavyweight Randy “Tex” Cobb (think “Master-Blaster” in the “Mad Max – Beyond Thunderdome” movie, and you get the visual).

 

Mathews, a regular on Chelsea Handler’s comedy show, is a razor-sharp wit who might’ve mentored under Dorothy Parker at the famed Algonquin Hotel.  Cobb gained notoriety in a heavyweight fight against Larry Holmes when he blocked all of Holmes’ punches with his face, then later starred as “Leonard Smalls” in "Raising Arizona."

 

Ross and Randy, the wit and the ogre, a dynamic duo. They patrol the hiways and biways in pursuit of truth, justice and the American way. Then, from the fetid pits of decay comes this menacing voice: "Hey, you buncha f**cking faggots!"

 

Oops!  Big mistake! 

 

Okay, Chrissy, your turn now, he's all yours!